Happy Anniversary England
Today is my one year anniversary with England. I arrived into Manchester Airport exactly 12 months ago, suitcase in hand, head full of dreams, heart filled with farewells. In some ways it seems like I've lived here for a long time, though in others, I feel like I've only just arrived.I'm spending the evening on my own. It appears that I only have three friends in York; one of whom has a migraine, one of whom is in London for the weekend, and the other of whom is at home looking after his wife who has a migraine. It's probably a good thing though. As an extrovert, I tend to direct a lot of my energies outward by spending lots of time around people, and I very rarely prioritise spending time on my own. So a night of contemplation is upon me.
I wonder if being in England has changed me. Which brings up the classic question that has haunted humanity through time, space and the arts: Can a person really change? I guess it all depends on the scale of examination, at what level is change occurring? My accent has certainly changed, as has my vocabulary. I'm quite sure I never used phrases such as "Goodness!" or "Bless..." before I moved to the UK. And whilst I doubt that I've become a completely different person, I do feel that living here has moulded me somewhat. Of course that is to be expected, we are the sum of our experiences, and so naturally the experience of living here will contribute to who I am. But to what extent am I open to change, how malleable is my character?
My recent trip home provided quite an interesting perspective. In some ways nothing about home had changed, Melbourne was still amazingly cool, Canberra was still quietly suburban and Wollongong was still a pretty place to visit. The waves still crash on Shellharbour beach and the the trams still run down Elizabeth St. But it's the little differences, the shops that have changed, the new train station, the houses that have been built, that I noticed quite strongly. But that's just the landscape. In terms of people, it was just amazing how easy it was to meet up with those I hadn't talked to in almost a year and pick up pretty much where we left off. Score one point for the "people don't change" team. I was able to talk so honestly and personally to people I'd had hardly any recent contact with, and it was just old times. Sitting in the backyard, in the sunshine, wearing pyjamas, drinking tea with my mates in melbourne, laughing and talking, it was like i had never left. That in itself was re-assuring, that your true friends will always be your friends, independant of time. But in many ways I felt more like myself when I was in Australia, more "me", which then implies that here in York, I don't feel like myself, that perhaps I am different here. Score one point for the "people change" team. It was odd when I came back to York, I could almost feel myself retracting, pulling back into myself. The dynamic here is different, mostly due to the timeframe. Friends here are people I've known for less than a year, which will always feel different to being around friends I've known for most of my life. But that's just altering my behaviour, relaxing to a different degree as appropriate to the setting; is that really change?
I do think I have become a little quieter. It might not seem believable, but I have had to tone down a bit and mind my p's and q's a little here. I've also become more aware of my habit of talking over the top of people. Which in my family is a survival skill. At the Evans' dinner table, you need to be able to participate in at least two plus-or-minus one conversations at any single given moment and be prepared to talk over the top of each other to state your opinion. Any guest who tries to wait until everyone has finished speaking before joining in ends up having very quiet night, as almost all our high school boyfriends will attest too *giggle* But seriously, here in England, if I start talking before someone is finished their sentence, they STOP! Almost mid-word. It's almost as if it's illegal to overlap with anyone else's voice. It kind of threw me at first, people just halting mid-thought, and so i've had to train my brain to engage the brakes on my mouth when I have a new idea to prevent it from flying out immediately. I've also noticed that I don't volunteer as much information as I have previously. When I was catching up with people in Australia, I noticed that I was waiting to be asked before talking about work, or life, or what I was doing. This might be a result of constantly being around people i don't know well here in York or could it be that I'm finally learning some manners?!?!?!? Goodness! Not speaking before I'm spoken too!! I'll be a conservative housewife before I know it! Bring on the apron *giggle*
One thing that struck me was that my life in Melbourne was very diverse compared to that in York. In Melbourne I had multiple groups of friends who were independent of each other, I had several different hobbies and knew people from many different backgrounds. In York, the people I meet are almost all connected to the university, so all my friends are junior academics like me, and I haven't as yet felt settled enough to take up any hobbies. I've been talking about joining a choir, or taking a language class and doing more social things to widen my horizons, but I just don't feel like I've got the time.
Of course I am being unfair. I lived in Melbourne for five years, and sure, by the end of that time I had built a very happy life for myself, but if I think back to how I felt at the end of 12 months, i wasn't that pleased to be there. In fact, I think I'm doing a lot better after 12 months in York, in terms of feeling like I belong here. That's probably got more to do with the fact that I'm a bit older now and have had more experience of setting down new tracks. And I am going to be in York for five years, so I guess I should wait and see what happens next.
I was worried that when I went home to Australia I wouldn't want to leave again, because I do love it there, and I miss all my friends and family so much. But it was interesting when I went and saw Daniel Kitson as part of the Melbourne Comedy Festival. He's a London based comedian, but he is originally from up North, so when he spoke, his accent sounded just like people I know in York. And i was somewhat surprised at how hearing someone say the word "con-cerned" instead of "c'ncerned" made me terribly homesick. I almost cried when he started talking about bonfire night and eating parkin. So I figured that on the inside, no matter how much I raved about Melbourne, I really did miss York, and that I would be glad to be home.
So, have I changed? Probably. I feel like moving to melbourne made me grow up, and maybe moving to York has made me mature. It could all just be a function of age, but do feel like I've got a better perspective on things, that I'm learning a lot, not only about myself, but about people. Of course I can't get too deep and meaningful about how all wise and all knowing I've become. I have had one handed cartwheel competitions outside a pub on the pavements of York, I've narrowly avoided being banned from a bar after jumping into a treasure chest in the window display, and was seen at a local working men's club doing back-up vocals for a Meatloaf tribute act. I'm still Krazy, but perhaps now in more measured doses!
In conclusion, I am happy here. I may not have achieved as much as I would have liked in the first year, I haven't cured Leishmania and I don't hold the answer to Life the Universe and Everything, but things are not in any way bad. My life may be a bit more simple, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm really looking forward to the summer, i've got lots of fun adventures planned, and things at work are really starting to kick along. What more could I want?
So here's to a year in England. One down, four to go, and I can't wait. Bring it on!!!
posted by Dr Krystal @ 7:13 pm
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